Very intresting Story Friends I want to share with you.
In all honesty I will start by saying that african americans are toooo passive with mental health issues. I think we to often shun off the possiblity of how trying they can be, illnesses like depression, borderline multiple personalities, chemical embalances, even ADD or ADHD in our children.

Ok now for the story, SOOOO a friend of mine advised that her boyfriend admitted to having an acute form of depression, triggered by and extremley tramatic experience in their life ( being in war, witnessing a lot of death, being abused etc). OKKK soo as "black folks may do, he wont seek medical help, no drugs...a blunt here and there but the effects arent enough to keep the problems at bay. The man has nightmares, blows up at everything, no patience whatsoever, extreme parinoa, low self esteem etc....things that make it hard for you to love someone who doesnt love themself.

What would you do, the person you love is ill, beyond their natural control. You find out about the situation that caused it, and understand how it could make someone sick. BUTTT what do you do when the person you love is sick and wont get help...Lets say yall have babies...or are married....you have to deal with this persons insomnia and inablity to trust you full or function everyday with out spazing out! I mean I couldnt give advise for somewhere I have never been. Buuuut I wonder what I would do in that situation. What would you do???

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Leena H.

.............. MAN oh My !!!! ....I honestly feel as though I dont' even have the right to respond or voice my opinion on something like this because it's so deep and opinions could turn into what u would and wouldn't do only because ur not in the situation..

butttttttttttt ...Looking @ my man on a daily basis and being put into a situation like that is hard...I know for a fact he wouldn't want to seek medical attention ..he doesn't even like taking REGULAR medicine when he's sick..he'll get some OJ and Ginger Ale and work it out..He doesn't believe in medication..only that God can cure all means...So what would i do ?? it would come a time where I wouldn't be able to take it anymore and have to be so strong for the both of us that I miss out on things I should be enjoying in my own life..especially if we have children...it would be damn near impossible to Just take care of me..and day afta day you go thru life like it's nothing until that ONE DAY every once in a while u hear a certain song and break down and just think...this is my life...and then it will resort to..(this is my life becauseeeeee.......)...you'll feel like if u leave you're a failure to his love..wondering if he would leave you if the tables were turned...BOTTOM LINE..Only the strong survive... you gotta be a team...if i'm willing to deal with your past/present/future issues u gotta be willing to help me along the way...I can't do it all alone and I feel like someone who DOESN'T seek attention is putting all their burdens on someone else...Very Selfish YET Very Understanding..Nobody wants to feel like they need a pill to BE HUMAN !!...

at the end of the day i have no answer besh ROTFLMAO...

Damn this is a tough one to answer. Especially since I have never had to deal with something like this.First, we as black people need to wake up and face reality and stop stereotyping life. What happens to white people also happens to us.

It’s so many answers and ways to help, but it just depends on the guy. Many men are very stubborn and know they need help, but just refuse because they feel that they can solve their own problems.

I believe that she needs to really sit down and talk with him about this and let him know how this is really affecting the family and that he is being selfish by not getting help. Him having this condition doesn’t makes him any less of a man and that he will be doing himself and the family a great deal of help if he was to at least sit down and speak with someone to see if there are other options besides the medication that he was previously prescribed.

Can she try an intervention type meeting with him?

Let us know how this goes because this is a very hard one to give advice on.

Good LUCK!

Okay so Question !!!

is it WRONG to focus on financial stability in a relationship?? I don't think so...my thing is If i have good credit or i'm working towards it and you're not interested in doing the same I think I have a right to decide I don't want to be with you and have a good case to stand on...Yes as the song says "Loveeeee..Love Will keep us together"..Bold face lie !! ..Love will keep the laughing..joking...and possibly the sex hot but I'm trying to go to Paris..Take Cruises..Buy Houses...and have my children a stable College Fund by the time they get there and I shouldn't have to Subject my terms of getting married to someone because i'm scared of their freecreditreport.com results !! ....


There are alot of young men out there who Don't give a shat about Credit or the long term affects it has on you...Some people think it's wrong to hold that type of value in a relationship but I mean it's THERE...I don't want everything in my name ...I mean i do because if we get into an arguement u have to go lol...but that's what you get for not having decent credit enough to put ur name down too.. this is not by any means my situation but on the radio they were saying how Love is different now and it's not just about your personality but what you have...I don't necessarily think it's about what you have but what can you offer...

Long Story SHORT.....I don't think it's wrong to hold at the highest standard a Man/Woman's credit history and their investments...it's a way of life....


The End..LOL

Nich !!

Speak it gurli!! I agree to disagree lol..Reason being is I myself didn't have the best of credit and that's no lie and hate to say it but damn it im human. Made sum HUGe mistakes at a young age because no one told me how important credit was and now I find myself trying to improve and better what dumb mistakes I made many years ago, but at the same time it's not so bad that I can't get the necessities I need in life.

But, When both people in the relationship have f'ed up credit it's just not gonna work. All ya can do is hope and pray for the best cuz ya credit damn sho aint gonna get it. Nobody can help nobody. Who's gonna help who?

ummm yea it matters! Ok so you need to pay attention to your mates ambitions, dreams, goals, and how he handles his money. Guess what, you can see it from the very beginning....how much he spends on dates, eating out, new clothes etc....how well he manages his money and what things are important in his life. Then look at how he saves, and what he invest in....if its nothing you might have a problem. If you want this to be "THE ONE" think about the issues you are going to have when you want to buy a house, cars, babies, college for the kids. etc....if he cant save he wont have..and now your house hold is living pay check to pay check..

For me thats not going to work....everyone isnt on top of their game grant, and I agree that if they dont know you need to help them. Show them how to manage, tell them whats most important to you. If he still doesnt get the message you need to consider how that will affect the future you two build together

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Leena H.